I majorly Crave a better book.

(If you’re just joining us- I’m reading the book Crave by Wolff- and am summarizing it for you in the best way possible. We’re about 100 pages in)

So where did we leave off?

The party. 

As I’m sure you could have guessed- it did not go well. 

Her cousin, Macy, dolled her up and brought her along. 

Grace notices the different ‘cliques’ right away (THAT she notices). They’re all huddled in different groups wearing the exact same attire as each other- and they are all glaring at her. The animosity is mucho heavy. 

We meet Macy’s BF who starts macking on her in front of Grace almost immediately.... so she leaves them be and wanders about. 

Most people are rude to her or are creepy AF and THEN the doors slam open and in saunters Jaxon (Obvious vampire and most definite future love interest in case you forgot). Not acknowledging her and making her feel insignificant once more. So she high-tails it outta there and decides to explore the castle yet again. Because it went so well the first time.

Honestly I’m super bored at this point- everyone is being vague and the mystery of who and what these people are still hangs in the air and I’m just overrrrr it. 

So she finds a library discovers a girl doing some chanting in a side room off by herself (again something that provides no red flags AT ALL- she’s more interested in what language the girl was speaking than anything- no joke). 

This girl invites her to her room and they kind of bond- over the girls dead BF. And then Macy shows up and takes her away. Apparently that girl was one of the most popular girls in the whole school! Whoa. Mind blown. 

You can tell how much I care because I’m remembering none of these peoples names. 

So she ends up puking from altitude sickness and takes the next day off from classes for a health and wellness day- oh and this Flint guy shows up and invites her to a snowball fight after classes? I’m still debating on who is what but I think he’s a werewolf. It’s just a guess though.

And then it’s an entire chapter of her walking around the grounds - she discovers this creepy looking tree she gets a weird vibe from... and finds these cottages where classes are held? Finally, she comes across a gazebo with Jaxon and popular girl (Lia is her name) having an intense fight/convo. 

Lia slaps him, yells a bit out of fury and hurt or something - Grace moves to do ... something? But then they both turn to her- eyes BLACK! (So popular girl is a vamp too... GTK) and then she turns and heads back and Jaxon shows up and follows her and Ooooooh! Jaxon just hinted that Flint is a Dragon! Well he said ‘drag...’ but I assume he wasn’t going to finish that up with ‘Queen’. 

Of course, Grace didn’t catch on. I mean- she literally makes all of these current pop culture references and she can’t pick up on ANY HINTS THROWN HER WAY?!? 

Ohhhh boooooi! Breaking news- Lia’s BF that died last year was Jaxon’s brother Hudson! Now we’re at least getting somewhere. There was a bit of a rhetorical jousting match between Jaxon and Grace but nothing beyond that. She feels watched as she heads back to the castle and then- when she’s peeling off her jacket (inside her room) she suddenly realizes that neither Jaxon nor Lia were wearing a jacket! 

Really?! That’s what’s going to tip her off that these people aren’t human?!? Missing JACKETS?!? Smh.

Oh wait- she just thinks they’re aliens. Cool cool cool. No doubt. Makes perfect sense.

And now she’s grilling Macy as they get ready for the snowball fight. She calls out Macy for never finishing her sentences like there is some big secret she’s not in on.... *face palm* 

Macy goes super cray when Grace brings up Jaxon though- he’s apparently apart of some ‘Order’ - Macy’s definition: popular boys at school who just hang out with each other.... and Grace buys it. She BUYS THAT OBVIOUS BULL FACE LIE! what an inept stupid human. Like wtf. Is she completely daft?! 

Ugh, let’s get to the next bit.

Snowball fight happens.

Grace pairs up with Flint (friendly dragon boy) and Macy (super bad at lying cousin)

They end up in big tree (yes- during the snowball fight. This is serious).

Grace falls- but Flint kind of catches her fall as she lands on top of him in the snow.

Jaxon shows up all threateningly and carries Grace back because she hurt her ankle. 

Everyone is shocked. Especially Macy.

And then we get so much boring dialogue that I genuinely skip PAGES at a time. But by the end of everything Jaxon has been texting her (zero ideas as to how he got her #), Macy is useless, Jaxon sends her breakfast, a note, and the TWILIGHT BOOK (while her ankle heals up for 24 hours) He shows up at her door to rub her ankle. And then leaves her again. 

More boring ass dialogue between Macy and Grace. Where Macy warns her that she can’t be friends with Jaxon AND Flint. It just won’t work. Mystery mystery feelings emotions blaaaahhhhhhhh. 

And we’re FINALLY to her first day of going to classes. Where she monologues some more about how she doesn’t know if she should wear a skirt or pants (I kid you not).

Listen- I put it down at this point. I need a break. Like, I’m all for mindless teen romance but this is some next level unimpressive plot writing. Yeah, I know- then why continue? BUT IM INVESTED! And this way - you never ever have to read it. You’re welcome.

PS we’re 1/3 of the way through. Lmao.

 

Wait... I was a blogger? Let’s try this again!

I may or may not have completely forgotten that I actually wrote more than a few times on this Blog- like over 200 something times apparently? 

Yikes a bee.

Anywho let’s dive right into what really matters.

I’ve decided to read a new book- not earth shattering news- but here’s the rub. I just don’t really have the time?

How is that possible since we’ve been shelter-in-place/quarantined for over a month you may ask! Well I (gratefully mind you) still go into work for 40 hours a week, plus do my part time job on the side while packing up a house AND participating in two book clubs- so there you go. No time. 

BUT with the announcement of Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer coming out in August my desire for angsty vampire YA novels suddenly resurfaced. AND this book literally looks like a Twilight knock off... so, glutton for punishment, I dived in. 

Crave by Tracy Wolff.

532 pages- WHY?! 

I’ve almost completed chapter 6. 

Here are my thoughts thus far- 

Main character is Grace. The only real thing about her is her grief- both parents died a month ago and she’s dealing with a ton of emotions- losing them and then flying off to live with her uncle who is a ‘headmaster’ at a school in Alaska. 

Yes, you read correctly- a headmaster. In Alaska.

We meet Jaxon almost immediately- he invades her personal space - makes her feel uncomfortable - is very unwelcoming BUT she sees some haunted sadness inside him that she just KNOWS he doesn’t show anyone and can empathize with his overwhelming grief. I mean this is a literal excerpt, “We stand there frozen. Devastated. Connected in a way I can feel but can’t comprehend by our very separate horrors.” That’s just after she touches the scar on his face. AFTER THEY JUST MET. Who touches someone’s face 5 minutes into meeting them?!? 

Oh, and he’s ultra god-like hot and the most popular dude at this school. Of course. 

So blah blah we meet characters that might matter but obviously aren’t that important. She somehow ‘knows’ not to mention her run in with Jaxon to her HEADMASTER uncle. She then rooms with her cousin and she’s off to sleep.

WHEN SUDDENLY. She wakes up at 3am. And decides to take a walk around the castle (again, yes, that’s not a typo. A castle. In Alaska). Probably to do some other stuff too but I’m majorly skipping paragraphs at this point. She’s down at the entrance when two guys come in from outside. 

It’s 10 below and they’re wearing nothing but ripped jeans (oh yeah- all the males wear ripped jeans at this school, can’t forget to mention that) and a T-shirt. 

They threaten her, tell her she’s not wanted here blah blah, and then grab her to throw her outside to see how she’ll do in the cold. 

So Jaxon shows up (Duh). Saves the day. Talks down to the guys (who blame their hostility on the moon - werewolves much?) and makes them apologize to Grace. 

And now I’m sure we’re in for an epic jousting match of angst and pent up sexual desire between Jaxon and Grace. 

Let’s see what happens!

 (Pause blog to read more chapters)

Her boi has literally- in a blink of an eye- disappeared on her twice now and she’s not even REMOTELY thinking something fantastical is going on? AND he totally wiped blood off of her lip and licked it. Because that’s NORMAL! I’m getting annoyed now. Either he’s a psychopath or a vampire- yet she hasn’t mentioned either possibility. 

Oh good. There’s a party her first evening at the school.... a frickin party.... a ‘welcome to Alaska-school-for-obvious-paranormal-beings-but-not-so-obvious-that-the-new-girl-will-notice’ party! 

IT’S USUALLY A HIGH TEA for school unity?!? I mean- it’s Alaska? Does this author know where Alaska is? 

Okay- that’s enough for my first time back in a hell of a long time. But I’m obviously going to continue to read this not so great book and share ALL my thoughts. Stay tuned! Spoilers are definitely ahead. 

Curvy Options? Puh-lease.

Today I went shopping.  Nothing extraordinary considering it's Christmas in less than a week and it would seem everyone and their mother is shopping.  So why bring it up?
Well, as much as I like to pretend all the shopping I do is for other people I totally shop for myself when I'm out and about.  One item for them - one item for me. It's super rewarding.
This evening was much like any other shopping endeavor.

**But first, I must preface this story with, I haven't really really gone shopping in a very long time.  I buy stuff online and from Barnes & Noble. If I've been into a mall it was to buy LUSH product. I've been buying the majority of my clothes online from LuLaRoe.  I haven't had the need or desire to go into a place like Forever 21 in probably a full year.  Gaining all the weight back that you lost for your wedding can do that to a person.**

After spending well earned money on everyone else, a sign caught my eye.  Charlotte Russe now has a 'curvy' offering in their clothing line.  For anyone over the size of 10... that's kind of a big deal because well, they don't really do large sizes.  Of course I must go in and check it out.  I'm extra curvy again (curvy is the nice way to call someone fat by the way... like skinny people don't have curves. But whatever. My life decisions led me to this and I deal with it).  As I enter I pass this wall of cute adorable sexy sparkly tops.  I go a little farther and pass other cute 'night' tops as they call them.  Finally, I reach the giant sign that essentially says "Curvy area".

I honestly assumed that this larger size offering would mean they make their small cute clothes in a 'plus' size to encompass more women.  What I walked into... was a disco ball mess of options. Out of the handful of dresses, rompers, and pantsuits (barely any separates) - 85% were COVERED in something reflective.  Being large means I'm more round, and from personal experience when you place silver shinny crap on a dress and throw it on a fat woman... she turns into a living breathing disco ball. And that... is not an attractive thing.  And then... if it wasn't sequenced to hell and back... they added a peplum! Which is just more fabric around the hip/waist area... accentuating all those 'curves' we have.  I honestly wish I had tried on a few just to see how embarrassingly bad they all were.

I ran across the same thing at Forever 21.  They've had their 'plus size' options for awhile... but the pieces are still lame.  I'd love to see what an attractive skinny girl would think if she only had plus sized styles to choose from.

I bring all this up, because I think it is simply ridiculous that somehow fat girls can't wear the same clothes as skinny ones. I'm not talking bikini's and hot pants... though... if a girl has the kind of confidence to wear that then good for them!  But seriously... being over weight does not mean we need to wear ugly clothes.  We're already deemed less attractive for not being skinny... so why the heck can't we get cuter clothes?  It's a huge part of the reason I jumped on the LuLaRoe bandwagon.  I find that I can wear every style they offer... and I love their patterns... the fabrics can change the sizing a little bit, but still... I can wear the exact same dress that my cute petite cousin can!

There was that whole issue regarding Leslie Jones and how she had a difficult time getting a popular designer to create a gown for her because of her size and then Tim Gunn's article about the lack attention to plus size fashion- it would seem that being anything bigger than a size 12 makes you inferior.  I used to be a size 12... back then I fit into 'skinny' clothes and I truly didn't think there was a problem... that bigger girls totally have choices... but I was wrong.  I'm 'fat' again... and because of this...fashion isn't something I get to partake in anymore.

This may seem very trivial in the grand scheme of things with what's going on in the world... but if the Kardashians can keep putting out trash books every single bloody year and no one says boo to them... then I can take the time to voice my grievances about plus size fashion.

Thanks for reading. And if you're interested in really cute clothes no matter what your size... feel free to message me... Lularoe will make you smile, I guarantee it.


Oh... and because I'm a HUGE fan of visual aids... here, let me show you some of the lovely options available to us plus size ladies from Charlotte Russe. And remember... the ladies in the pictures are models... and are probably on the lower end of the fat spectrum/photo-shopped.

A Timed Endeavor.

I have 17 minutes to write this before I have to get ready for work... and even that's pushing it.  So let's see what kind of fun nonsense I can get out before then.

I registered to vote.  Because I know my vote matters.  However... voting in this election makes me want to vomit.  A customer and I chatted about how we're told to pick the lesser of too evils.  And I'm like... why do we have to choose between any evils? How did it even come to this?!?! Some might argue it's people like me who weren't registered to vote and didn't do so for the primaries... but I might argue it's the very people that voted in the primaries that got all their priorities in a bunch.  That aside... I tried understanding how some people's votes weigh more than others... that doesn't seem very equal or fair to me... does it to you?  We all need to take another government class.  The last one I took was in my senior year of high school- I forgotten most of it.  Point is... I'm really and completely baffled by all this.

Now I have 9 minutes.

I lost a crap ton of weight for my wedding over a year and almost a half ago.  I have since then gained all of it back and then some.  To say that it's a depressing thing is an understatement.  AND the worst part of it all... is that when I look back at those pictures and I think I look pretty extra amazing... I remember thinking that when I was that size... I simply wasn't skinny enough.  How sad is that?  To remember thinking that at your skinniest you're still not skinny enough... and now I'd kill to be that skinny.  (Well not literally kill... I'd kill a donut or two - obviously)  I think I've finally found motivation again though... so let's see if I can lose all the weight again.  Baha.

5 minutes and counting.

I will attempt to blog more? That's about all I've got at this point.  I feel like I need the last few minutes to think of a clever title.  Or at least a less than dull title.  Who knows what I will pick!  Well, you will because you'll already have read it.  At this point I'm babbling.  Next time I post it's going to be about Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.  I'm going to re-read it and we're going to hash it out.  So be excited about that!

Now it's work time. woot. woot.

Why the Twilight gender swapping book was lame sauce-Shocking, I know.

I finally finished reading Life and Death: a gender-swapping Twilight retelling.  I also acknowledge that where as I can usually finish a book in less than two days (three or four on an off week) this particular one took me almost a full month.  Sure, I can blame some of it on my work. I rarely do much outside the realm of work- and if I do get some down time I am the most non-productive human being on the planet. Ask my friends… they rarely hear from me. It’s sad really. Back to the point: like I said, I can admit when I am partially to blame, but the rest falls to the book itself- more importantly the characters.  

The main character to be precise: Beaufort Swan. Or Beaumont Swan. I don’t care enough to pick up the book and clarify. (All the character name swaps were just as awful, but who's really that surprised. She named Bella's child Renesmee. I mean come on.) He was absolutely and completely boring.  One can argue that Bella was too, but as a 16 year old ten years ago I could empathize with her insignificance.  I will also say that Bella at least had some snark to her. Some kind of sassy something. Beau however was nothing but this dull guy who I could not fathom why anyone let alone a gorgeous, talented-at-everything, almost perfect, girl vampire would even kind-of want. Seriously though, he was boring with a side of snooze-fest.  Meyer did not do him any justices. He used the word beautiful to describe Edythe more times than I care to remember.  Beau couldn’t string together a creative metaphor to save his life. He was contrived and, again, plain ole boring.

I really could go on with the annoyances I had with this book, but the more I realize how annoyed I am I begin to wonder why I wasn’t as annoyed with Twilight.  Bella was probably just as boring and ridiculous, and yet it didn’t bother me all those years ago. I think when it comes down to it, as a girl I was able to want to be Bella- a less than amazing girl who captures the heart of this gorgeously dangerous mythical being.  I’m sure a handful of girls my age desired that kind of connection with someone 'dark and mysterious' and/or ‘out of their league.’ They rooted for Bella.  She deserved some gorgeous guy to worship the ground she walked on darn it! But now that Beau is the lame human and Edythe is the vampire I kept wondering why in the WORLD would she settle for a guy like that.  I couldn’t empathize with Beau.  Because he’s the character I’m supposed to want.  As someone who has had crushes on boys her whole life, Beau was my intended target for the fictional character crush. However that did not happen, obviously.   I’d like to read about a guy that doesn’t remind me of parchment paper.  It comes down to this: if I had been Edythe I totally would have killed Beau in Biology class.  Just saying.

Hope this was incredibly insightful for you all.  I think I’m going to read Harry Potter now.   Have a Happy Halloween!