Musings

I miss writing. I miss it more than I really let myself comprehend. And yet, I'm the only one who has prevented myself from writing. It's similar to my exercise habits. Or lack thereof. I know I should and I need to, and in all honesty I truly like exercising.  The feeling of accomplishment after a good workout is absolutely phenomenal. So then, why don't I do it?
I can probably attribute most of the reason to laziness.  Simply put- the desire to be completely unproductive. I don't like this anymore than I like stubbing my toe- or giving discounts to rude people- or cleaning up after other people's messy children. I have no real reason not to write and not to get up and be active. None. So, maybe this is a very small baby step into getting back out there. I have plenty to write about, that's for sure.  Let's see how this goes.

This will be my Step 1.
My introduction back into the blogging society.
Hello. My name is Charity. And this is a blog about nothing important yet nothing unimportant.
Just my musings.

First big musing: Life can be a tricky little booger.
Humans have such a range of emotions, opinions, beliefs etc. We can be completely compassionate one moment and take out our vengeance the next.  Our ability to hurt others is unimaginable and yet our abilities to help others in need, others we don't even know, is unsurpassable. We feel great loss. We feel great joy. We are unique. And then in the midst of all these very polar opposites we have monotony.  The boring day to day drudge that is life.
Talk about confusing. So what's a girl to do?
Listen to worship music. That is what I have chosen to do. If you're new to this blog, I have been a Christian since I was little. Have I been a good Christian? Not necessarily. Recently one of my coworkers seemed surprised when I told her I was a Christian. She said, "I didn't see you as one." And of course she didn't mean it in a bad way, in fact she made it very clear that most of the Christians she knows try to beat her over the head with the Bible. Obviously... not what Jesus would do and I apologized for them. But it also made me think, I'm not a true representative of Christ if people don't know why I am nice and (on most days) even tempered. I want God's light to shine through me.  I want to love on people just because Jesus loves them- not for personal gain and certainly not to lift me up any.
I've also been trying to pray more, lose my temper less, and in general, not talk crap about people when I'm upset. Now, I still fail a ton of the time. But I'm not going to give up. I'm going to continue trying to be a supportive and loving wife, loyal and honest worker, obedient and respectful daughter, and overall decent human being. If any of this can help circumvent the headaches of trying to understand why humans are the way they are and why life is the way it is, then I will be a better person for that.

Wow, okay... good talk I think! Maybe I'll surprise you with musing number two tomorrow... or maybe just a general thought or two. Who knows. We shall see. dun. dun. dun.

PS Don't judge, but I totally plan on reading the re-imagining of Twilight called Life and Death. I'll let you know how it goes. hehe.

Right? Rite? Wright!

Whoa. Wait a second.  Two blogs back to back?  One day apart?  Has the world fallen into complete chaos, disarray, and all out madness?
No. It has not.
However, I am in a better mood!  Exciting right?

Today's blog is not about my feelings though.  Well, not entirely.  Maybe a teeny bit, because everything I do, I do with feeling.  Dramatic feeling usually.  Okay, getting to the point.

This blog is about the fact I love to write.  I LOVE writing.  I have since wayyy back when.  In fact I found this notebook I wrote a story in back in third grade.  It was completely awful and I'm incredibly grateful I never let anyone read it.  But I have always had a passion for writing in spite of not always being very good at it.

I love writing so much that I am interested in pursuing an MFA in Creative Writing.  Who knows where to at this point... and really that doesn't much matter to me.  It's an option and I plan on looking into it whether it be here in San Diego or somewhere else... kind of.

Here's one of my problems:  I have never, in all my years of writing, actually finished a story.  I think I finished a few Creative Non-Fiction stories, but those don't count seeing as they're based on actual events and therefore already have an ending.  I don't have to make one up.  My fiction stories are another matter entirely.
Here's another problem: I frequently have writer's block.  One of my professors always said that, "Writer's block is a lie, a myth, something people tell themselves to make their laziness okay."  Which, granted, kind of makes sense.  HOWEVER, I do believe that when you've sat down at a computer or in front of a journal and have been able to write for hours on end without thinking of food, water, or life beyond the page, any other kind of writing just sucks.  So when I have to stare at a blank page for over twenty minutes until I can write a single solitary word I get discouraged and declare writer's block.  It kind of feels like this:

With these in mind, I must now prepare a portfolio of my writings to send in with my application to any grad school I apply to.  Remember problem numero uno?  Yeah, I don't have much to send to anyone.  This brings me to my MAIN point.  My boyfriend (Michael, in case we all forgot or thought I'd gotten a different one.  Which I guess could have happened since I never update this blog, but it definitely hasn't.  Same awesome Michael) has helped me come up with an amazing writing exercise to help combat my issue with writer's block.

The premise:
Start with seven characters, seven places, seven objectives, and seven genres.  Then use a randomizer and you get seven different story scenarios.  Some could be awesome.  Some could be beyond crap, like my most recent one (I may have chosen to name a character Barnabus.

I know. I know.  Not my best life choice.  I think Michael thinks that's the main reason I had such a tough time with this story.  I think it was the genre.  'fable'  If you do this exercise DO NOT use fable.  It is dreadful.  dee-red-full).
The catch:
You only get one week to start the story.  It should be at minimum five pages long.  Then when the week is over, you start the next one.  So after seven weeks you have seven different stories.
The part that I don't really understand quite yet/I have to sway Michael to see it my way:
I think I should then go back and work on the stories I really connected with.  As an example, my first story I came up with ended up being over ten pages long and I could have gone on but I had to start on the next story.  I think I want to go right back to that story and start really fleshing it out and working it. Because although I have the start of seven stories I have the capacity to actually finish that one.  And maybe others as the weeks progress.  So yeah, that part is still up in the air... Because I think I'm supposed to work on them for a week each again... but I don't think I necessarily want to do that.  I digress.

This all occurred due to Michael's help.  And I think he gets quite a kick out of getting on me and making sure I keep up with my work.  I'm a pretty lucky gal.  No sass, I'm serious.  I'm super lucky.

Well, ladies and gentleman.  I am off to start a new story.  Say a little prayer that this one goes a bit smoother than the last one.  Maybe I'll post a snippet of a story on here some day.  Wouldn't that be a treat? Okay.  I think I'm done now.  Have one awesome day!  And as always, thanks for reading.