Musings

I miss writing. I miss it more than I really let myself comprehend. And yet, I'm the only one who has prevented myself from writing. It's similar to my exercise habits. Or lack thereof. I know I should and I need to, and in all honesty I truly like exercising.  The feeling of accomplishment after a good workout is absolutely phenomenal. So then, why don't I do it?
I can probably attribute most of the reason to laziness.  Simply put- the desire to be completely unproductive. I don't like this anymore than I like stubbing my toe- or giving discounts to rude people- or cleaning up after other people's messy children. I have no real reason not to write and not to get up and be active. None. So, maybe this is a very small baby step into getting back out there. I have plenty to write about, that's for sure.  Let's see how this goes.

This will be my Step 1.
My introduction back into the blogging society.
Hello. My name is Charity. And this is a blog about nothing important yet nothing unimportant.
Just my musings.

First big musing: Life can be a tricky little booger.
Humans have such a range of emotions, opinions, beliefs etc. We can be completely compassionate one moment and take out our vengeance the next.  Our ability to hurt others is unimaginable and yet our abilities to help others in need, others we don't even know, is unsurpassable. We feel great loss. We feel great joy. We are unique. And then in the midst of all these very polar opposites we have monotony.  The boring day to day drudge that is life.
Talk about confusing. So what's a girl to do?
Listen to worship music. That is what I have chosen to do. If you're new to this blog, I have been a Christian since I was little. Have I been a good Christian? Not necessarily. Recently one of my coworkers seemed surprised when I told her I was a Christian. She said, "I didn't see you as one." And of course she didn't mean it in a bad way, in fact she made it very clear that most of the Christians she knows try to beat her over the head with the Bible. Obviously... not what Jesus would do and I apologized for them. But it also made me think, I'm not a true representative of Christ if people don't know why I am nice and (on most days) even tempered. I want God's light to shine through me.  I want to love on people just because Jesus loves them- not for personal gain and certainly not to lift me up any.
I've also been trying to pray more, lose my temper less, and in general, not talk crap about people when I'm upset. Now, I still fail a ton of the time. But I'm not going to give up. I'm going to continue trying to be a supportive and loving wife, loyal and honest worker, obedient and respectful daughter, and overall decent human being. If any of this can help circumvent the headaches of trying to understand why humans are the way they are and why life is the way it is, then I will be a better person for that.

Wow, okay... good talk I think! Maybe I'll surprise you with musing number two tomorrow... or maybe just a general thought or two. Who knows. We shall see. dun. dun. dun.

PS Don't judge, but I totally plan on reading the re-imagining of Twilight called Life and Death. I'll let you know how it goes. hehe.

right. cool. ugh.

I have started to write this blog at least seven different times over the past couple of months.  And it usually always starts the same... with this quote:

"Who doesn't drink coffee? I mean it's just coffee. You have it with breakfast... or when you're sitting in a cafe pretending to write a novel. It's not a drink; it's a hug." ~Kenzi, Lost Girl. 

It's an awesome, and very true quote indeed.  And usually it would be a good opening for a light hearted up-beat kind of blog that I had every intention of writing... the last seven or so times I attempted to put this together at least.  I even planned on maybe writing the longest blog ever and color coordinate the text with certain subjects so that way you could just skip to what you actually cared/wanted to read about.  However, I decided against that for now.  Particularly because I'm just not in the mood.  

And let's be honest... I highly doubt you would open up a blog that looked like it was longer than the Great Wall of China and think, "oh boy... this should be the best thing I've ever read in my life and I'm going to read every word even when she goes on her never ending rants or is less funny than she thinks she is."  Yeah... So I'm just saving us all the trouble.  What I will share with you today is how I feel, about myself.  Truly some inspiring stuff coming up.  And it will all be in picture format.  It'll be about the most fun you've had in the last twenty minutes or so, I promise.

How I feel:



Pretty great huh?  You have to admit that Box guy is quite cute, though not why I picked it.  Well, maybe a little why I picked it.
Also. Totally not doing that 'new' thing every week for 52 weeks thing anymore.  We should all know by now how awful I am with the goals I set.  I pretty much suck at all of them.
Sorry to be a debbie downer.
Sorry to anyone named Debbie... it's a lovely name... and you're probably not a downer at all.  
I must get back to work.

PS there is a bright side to all this.  I get to see my family soon.  Get my mind off of things I have zero control over.  It should be fun.  
PPS it's my mom's birthday, so at the very least go and fill up her Facebook page with so many happy birthdays she doesn't know what to do with herself.  
PPPS HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM.  Wish I could be with you.  I know that would make me feel a ton better.  
PPPPS That first picture is a Pygmy Hippo.  Not to be confused with a regular Hippo.