Messy Epiphany.

I would say Happy Christmas Break... but seeing as I have a few more papers to write still I will refrain. Let's all be honest here... you can't be shocked that I procrastinated even to the point past finals can you? It's me were talking about. With that said, I should be working on the papers as I type this but, of course, I'm not... obviously. However, once I get these array of thoughts out of my mind I shall dive right into my literary masterpieces (hah).

Hopefully by now you know I work at Barnes and Nobles. If you didn't well now you do. Welcome. So one of my biggest pet peeves is when people do not put books back where they belong. Naturally. I mean, how hard is it really to put the book back where you found it? I'll tell you... it's not hard. I do it all day long. It's actually really quite simple. Especially when you are taking one book out at a time and then putting it back... But Charity, you might say, aren't you ranting about people who don't put back the books? You just said that person did!!! Let me clarify for you my good sir/ma'am. Putting a book on a shelf does not mean you put it back where it goes. Lying it flat on top of books is not putting it back. Walking ten feet while reading and then placing it among other books that look about the same size (but consequently are now in Spanish) is not putting it back. Book stores are alphabetized so you, the customer, can find books easily. There is no magical alphabetizing button we booksellers push to clean up people's messes. Nor is there a magical 'find this book' button. When the computer says we have a book, let's say it's The Great Gatsby, but we can't seem to find it because someone decided to hide it in Christian Inspiration that's a problem. Sure we'll find it eventually but it's pretty darn inconvenient for everyone in the meantime. There are also those people that take out five books at a time, sit down in a corner, read a few and then leave them there. Now this is annoying too, but at least it's plain to see and easy to rectify.

Now, I know I've just grumbled and complained for what seemed like forever, but there is a point to my pissy rant. Today I found a stack of books back in the children's section (that's one of the only places where we have a bench to sit on). Sure I was annoyed, but then I picked up the five books and each one of them was about what to do when you find out your spouse has cheated. I felt like I had been hit over the head with a skillet. During this whole time of cleaning other people's messes I never thought to pay attention to what I was cleaning up. Each pile of books is a little window into another person's life. It could show their interests, sacrifices, or personal hells. But every pile of books and magazines I find from now on will be a connection, however small, to someone who visited the store. I just thought this was a neat little epiphany and I wanted to share it with you all.

Jumping back into homework. Wish me luck. :)

Waking up with a Smile.

I am stressed. That is evident when I have dreams about the papers and projects I have to do. Because of this I feel it is quintessential to remember and focus on the things I am thankful for. I don't think it has to be anything incredibly impressive... As you will soon realize. But in the last two days I've felt overwhelmingly blessed in spite of all the stress. So I am going to share these bursts of thankfulness now:

1) Commuter Whatever.

Every month or so PLNU decides to buy a whole bunch of bagels and doughnuts for the commuter students. They don't do a great job at advertising it (then again I never read any emails or watch chapel slides so this is probably just my perception), but I kind of like it like that. Because I'll show up for school or work thinking it's a normal no breakfast morning and then I see that little red sign and I get all giddy (imagine.. me giddy over food. haha). It's always a pleasant surprise. And I am thankful that commuters get little treats like this every once in awhile.

2) Completely cloudless Sunsets.

I don't know if any of you saw last night's sunset but I did. Well, technically the sun had already set; what I actually saw were those few minutes when the light from the sun still stretched out over the horizon lighting up the sky just enough so you can see exactly where world ends. And on days where it's absolutely crystal clear, you can see this far off island in the distance of the Point Loma campus. The first weekend I was here freshman year Bobby B mentioned this island, and how only on very clear days you can see it. I forget about it usually, kind of like how I forget about all the blessings I receive on a daily basis. But when I see that island I can't help but sing my praises to my father (the heavenly one). I am thankful for those little reminders.

3) Glee

Don't get me wrong. I haven't loved every single episode, far from it. And some of the songs they choose to cover are either obnoxious or simply unfortunate. However, this show started my junior year of College. And I have stuck with it through thick and thin. Currently I think it is at a high point. And I am excited to say that when Kurt, Rachel and Finn graduate this year so will I. It's a stupid comparison, but it makes me smile. And I am thankful for the music they create that helps me laugh and dance a little more through life.

4) Eleemosynary

You all should know by now I got a lead in a play (yes I like saying it. Who knows if it'll ever happen again! So I have to say it as much as possible... duh.) This play isn't a fluffy little comedy or some darkly absurd drama. It's a mix of both. But the theme behind this play is what hits me so hard. We all have flaws and make bad choices. Some of those choices are much bigger (and worse) than others, but in the end we all need forgiveness. From each other and God yes, but also from ourselves. If we can't forgive ourselves when we mess up on test because we didn't study nearly as much as we should have, or when we say something hurtful on accident or on purpose, or whatever then we'll never be able to accept anyone else's forgiveness. I am thankful for a passion that makes me think.

5) (this one goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway) Family and friends.

I am so blessed. They're (I should say you're because let's be honest... pretty much only friends and family actually read this blog lol) not perfect. But neither am I. But I love you all anyway. And for the most part I think you love me. I am thankful for your patience, and willingness to help me or listen in whatever way possible. It truly means the world to me. And I just hope you know I'm here for you too.

I could go on... for a long time... But I think five is a good number to end with for now. Today is going to be a good day. I hope you were able to think of a few things you're thankful for while reading this. :) Now go be awesome and remember to smile!

life of a bookseller

Im at work right now; yes, right this moment. No i am not shirking my responsibilities... ive just been assigned to nook duty... which means im physically chained to the nook table. I cant leave. So i get to play while i wait for customers to show interest in this awesome device. Do you want to know why the nook tablet is so awesome? Of course you do! First of all i own one... which proves its amazingness, but in case that doesnt quell your doubts here are some other reasons you should put it on your Christmas list: fastest tablet on the market, 16 gig memory with an SD card slot to increase memory, built in microphone, bn.com has over a gazillion books to choose from (not officially a gazillion... but wayyy more than amazon), and we have wicked cool nook covers. Mine is black with silver signatures of famous authors including Jane Austen, William Shakespeare, and Edgar Allen Poe. It rocks my socks... and everyone elses socks as well. Well that's the end of my sales pitch for now.
In other news im supposed to be half memorized for Eleemosynary by the end of this week... guess who is no where close... but no worries... ill just have to eat sleep and live by my script. Maybe ill type out my lines on my nook! Haha i couldnt help but throw that in there. If at any time you want to hang out expect me to ask you to help me run lines... and as my friend you should be happy and joyful that i am including you in such a huge part of my life. :) well, im going to sell nooks and books now... have a great day!
Ps were still having a HUGE sale here at bookstar... 50% a handful of books! I bought four yesterday and only paid 28 bucks... great for gifts.. for your friends and yourself!!! :D
Bookseller for the win!

Ass.U.Me.

Assumptions. Suck.

I mean, we're bound to assume things here and there. It's practically inevitable. And my assumptions are no worse or better than yours... but the simple fact remains.. they're assumptions.

In case you've forgotten what the word assume means here is a brief definition for you: to believe something is true based upon general unproven observations and/or reports.

Unproven is the key word. And I think we all do ourselves a huge disservice when we stand by what we allegedly believe do to our 'keen' observations...

So, for instance, let's say you read this blog and you think 'hey i think she's talking about me there' Case in point- that would be an assumption. I could very well be thinking about you this very moment.. but you won't really know unless you ask!

How does this pertain to life outside of my bloggy world? Well, if you've been reading my previous posts at all you know that I'm in a bit of a tizzy when it comes to people and crushes and feelings about crushes and the aftermath of crushes, etc. This being said... none of the previous blogs necessarily directly concern me at this moment. Don't get me wrong.. I've felt and dealt with everything I've mentioned... but I'm not in a passionate whirlwind of a crush that has rejected me ever so sourly. I'm just taking notice of the people around me.

I'm just frustrated right now and I wish people would stop assuming and start speaking up. You know that popular saying... when you assume you make an ass out of you and me... Well it's true. Except you really just make yourself look like a darn fool and frustrate the crap out of me. You can assume you know who I'm talking about.. but again... you won't really know unless you ask... so Hah!

Alright. Done venting for tonight. I need sleep. But rehearsals are going splendidly. I am still so excited for this show despite the rigorous amount of effort it is going to take to memorize all my lines! So excited!! :) I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving break!!!

A vicious cycle...

This is an extension from my last post. Mainly because I'm not done hitting a dead horse with a stick (or any heavy object really).

Recap: It seems that when you 'like' someone you aren't really good at controlling those feelings. In spite of this fact, you should do your very best not to let those feelings control you. Don't get too head over heals because you'll get hurt. Dial back the time you hang out together.. or the amount of time you think about how 'awesome' they are. Don't put yourself in a situation where you're bound to get overwhelmed.

I say these things not because I'm a pessimist. I'm not saying that if you have a crush on someone they'll never end up liking you back. That's totally and completely possible. Woohoo for hope! I'm just suggesting, especially after these last few weeks, that you just put yourself first, and not them.

I stand by what I've already said... you can't let your crush control you. As wonderful as I'm sure they are... no one is more important than your mental well being. Because let's face it.. crushes can make us all a little insane.

End of recap.

Now, what happens when this advice is ignored... glad you asked. Since I'm sure you've never felt unwanted, rejected, or just completely worthless due to a crush-like situation let me enlighten you (this is sarcasm ladies and gentlemen just in case you take things a tad too literally).

Imagine how a discarded yellow banana peel feels. It protects this wonderful fruit that is germinating inside it; probably thinking about the day it gets to show what it's been hiding for so long and wondering what's going to happen. And then that day comes, the banana is ripe and awesome, they get peeled back... only to have the fruit ripped from them, eaten, and then tossed aside without a second thought. Nothing to show for it's efforts and devotion.

Yeah... I've been that banana peel. It sucks.

But unlike the banana peel it's not the end of the world.

You can make sure that never happens again... Just become a nun/monk. Hahaha. kidding. Threw that in there to see if you were paying attention.. didn't know if I lost you after the banana analogy.

So the person you've liked for who knows how long turns you down in a way similar to this: "Sorry, you're just not good enough. You're too (insert numerous qualities you hate about yourself here)." And sure, they never actually say that exactly... but we all know they might as well have.. because it's kind of the truth. At least we think so.

Here are the steps you should now take:

1) realize that it's their loss. I know everyone says that. But seriously. It is. There is something unique and wonderful about every single one of us. And if that person can't see it because of some physical attribute, personality characteristic, etc... then that sucks for them.

2) they were not that great to begin with. When you like someone it seems as if they walk on air. and are beautiful and charming and this and that.. honestly.. ask all the people you talk to about them.. you think they poop rainbows. They don't. They're human... and humans can be pretty stinking dumb. I mean I'm sure they are nice, but they have flaws and and insecurities too.. only difference is.. you just boosted their self esteem.. while they crushed yours. (how unfair is that?)

3) get drunk. HAHA. again.. kidding. sorry... I couldn't help but toss that in there. In fact, I actually suggest staying away from anything that would increase your chance of calling/texting/facebooking them and making a complete fool out of yourself. Have some dignity. The moment they turn you down is the moment you have every reason to pity them for life.

4) spend some quality time doing things for yourself. You've been so wrapped up in them (whoever the idiot crush was) for so long you've probably forgotten what YOU like to do. Read a book.. go shopping.. create something.. bake something.. listen to Adele.. Just make sure it's all for you and no one else.

5) c'est la vie. I personally hate it when people use this phrase, but it doesn't change the fact it's absolutely true. Crap happens. It sucks. But you're still living and breathing. Be thankful for what you have and the experiences you've lived through. It's bound to get better.

I'm sure there are a ton of other things you can do.. but that's for you to figure out. If you need to be angry then be angry... or sad or whatever. but I stand by my five steps. I promise they'll lead somewhere great. Kind of like how that wardrobe led to Narnia. Or Platform 9 3/4 leads to Hogwarts. Definitely somewhere great.