Late Night Epiphany.

As I was talking late, trying to help a best friend out about some boy issues, I discovered something.  Trying to understand boys is like trying to understand caterpillars.  

Wait, hear me out.  

Boys are impossibly difficult to get.  Every girl knows this.  (Unless the guy is gay, then he is a little bit easier to understand.  The reason being I think we share some brain waves.)  Now caterpillars are these fuzzy crawly worm things that totally look cute but are in fact bugs.  And then one day bam... they turn into these amazing butterflies.  I am sure some guys may be offended that I just compared them to a caterpillar/butterfly, but here is where my logic comes from:

Boys, like caterpillars, are put on this earth for a higher purpose.  To become something more.  Obviously this takes some time.. and we really do not understand the whole process (unless you're some sort of bug scientist; I am referring to the caterpillars here, obviously).  So all we know in the end is that one day most boys will become the men they need to be... just like most caterpillars become the beautiful butterflies.  Of course there are always exceptions to every rule.  And that totally sucks and kind of messes with my theory, but still.  We must enjoy and appreciate the cute caterpillars as they are (because they'll eventually become beautiful butterflies.)  And in the meantime I suggest that girls stop trying to 'get' guys, and just befriend them.  Either the guy will come around and admit to liking you, or they'll be the ones missing out.

And I do want to note that it is 2:25 in the morning, so if that made absolutely no sense, or I offended numerous amounts of people (i.e. boys)... it is probably because of my lack of sleep.  Either way as of right now, I feel pretty deep.  

Do you know...

Do you know how to be happy when your closest friends aren't?  

Do you know how to ask someone what you did to make them upset with you?  

Do you know how to keep from crying because your life hasn't been that bad while everyone else's seems to be falling apart? 

Do you know how to try and make a sad person smile?  

Do you know how to change the past?  

Do you know how to predict the future?  

Do you know how to tell the truth when you know you'll be judged?  

Do you know how it feels to be the one who tags along?  

Do you know how to make your friends happy?  

Do you know how to make bad dreams go away?

Do you know how to say the right things?  

Do you know how to be yourself?  

Do you know what it is like to never feel like you're being yourself?  

Do you know what to do if you feel like you're losing your friends?

Do you know what the point is in making someone's day special only to have it all blow up?

Do you know what is fair?

Do you know what it is like to have said, "No one will ever understand." ?

Do you know where God was in their lives? 

Do you know where happiness and joy even come from?   

Do you know why they wanted to give up?  

Do you know why you don't?  

Do you know why we feel for people we shouldn't?  

Do you know why we don't feel for people we should?  

Do you know why it gets harder before it gets easier?  

Do you know why people are so incredibly selfish?

Do you know why people say "I don't care" when more often than not they do?

I wish I did.

 

GOODWIN

WE GOT A ROOM IN GOODWIN!!!!!!!!!!!

we got a room in goodwin!!!

i am going to write a song about how happy i am..

after i stop jumping up and down with excitement. 

WE GOT GOODWIN!!!!!

last night.

"she's your friend."

i don't think it should have hurt as much as it did.

The Weekender

My weekend went by way too fast. It was awesome though.

First game night: played Mafia for the first time. I was a town's folk. I was falsely accused of murder. They killed me. Good times.

Then a double birthday party: some of my closest friends, not so close friends, and people I have never met before gathered together for one fabulous party. I am pretty sure I have not had that much fun in quite a long time. Happy Birthday Cynthia and Deborah!! :)

and last (but certainly not least) the Fusion X dance competition!!! Which Cynthia and I totally made t-shirts for!!!

B. Mod stands for Barkada Modern, and they did so freaking good!!!! They didn't place, but still, Kudos for definitely being in the top 5 there, at least I think so. But I am stoked that the team whose theme was Las Vegas got THIRD!! Common Ground. They were awesome. I looooved them. So this is now a new tradition that shall be carried out for the remainder of my time here in SD. Maybe we'll make shirts and posters next year. Who knows!

Now my weekend is over and I am pretty darn sad about it. I am kind of looking forward to what the next week will bring, because I certainly do not think it will be drama free by any means... muahaha. Gotta love life.

frustrated.. orange?

I have officially signed up for my classes for the Fall of '09 year.  I can breathe a sigh of relief that it is over.  But now all the stress from registration will slide on over to my housing situation.  I honestly have no idea what I am going to do.  It seems each day I get more and more worried and frustrated over the whole thing.  Some how the three of us (two of my closest friends and I) are supposed to figure out how to rearrange it so there are two of us in one room and the other gets to find a different roommate.  The three people rooms that we were supposed to get into were filled before one of our names were randomly chosen from a freaking bingo cage (you know, where they pull out the numbered letters i.e. N54, B12).  Now we have to reconfigure our three person situation into a two and one person situation to fit into the two person sophomore dorms. I will definitely be a junior.  just fyi.  And i totally gave the whole living off campus thing a valiant effort but that was kind of shot down before it even got the chance to take off.  So my point in all this blabble is that I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO FUCKING DO!

...

On a brighter side, I love oranges.  I do not know why or how I became addicted but in the last 24 hours I have eaten 6 of them.  And I crave one now as I type this.  I love the smell, and taste, and how they can drop on the ground but they're totally still okay because you only eat the inside!!!  And I know I am not the only one that loves these little gifts of orange delight, because on the ride in california adventures called 'Soarin' over California' they spray orange smelly stuff at you!!! For almost the entire duration of the ride!!  I love oranges.

a day Full of... stuff

sometimes i just want to cuss. very loudly. and somewhere very public.

• my first test of the entire semester, and i will be lucky to have passed
• my class schedule has changed at least nine times. on the bright side i think it will only change one more time. fingers crossed.
• my living situation for next year is still in the shit hole. F-you point loma
• for the next three weeks i am living on a very very tight budget
• all i want to do is eat (and eat and eat).
• one of my best friends and i had an hour and half conversation... of small talk (i.e. how was Easter? How is work? How is blah blah blah). oh, and awkward times of silence.

And then this stupid blog!!!! All I want to do is find my friends blogs, and follow them. I finally gave up trying to figure out how to do so after 45 minutes of furious searching and clicking on every link available on blogger.com
....
But thank you Spring Awakening for helping me calm down. I haven't listened to the soundtrack in quite a long time, and it was way overdue.
and after I get off work tonight, it is officially the weekend for me.
I get to make t-shirts with Cynthia tomorrow!! I will write more on my stories this weekend! I will finish the book I am currently reading!!

I am going to be just fine.

And then there were tears.

As my first blog post you would think I would have something extremely intellectual to say, perhaps a witty anecdote or a heart wrenching story. I have none. Instead I would like to mention how I walked into my room. (my roommate asleep with the movie Big Fish on) I sat down, watched the last ten minutes of it and was bawling like a blubbering baby. And going with the theme of the movie you'd think I was exaggerating, but I kid you not.. tears were pouring out of my eyes and my ears were beginning to hurt. Usually my ears do not hurt when crying so I just think that proves my point to how intense these tears were. I am not entirely proud that I was crying that hard over a movie, especially one that I am not a big fan of. But that ending!! like it just gets you right there, or at least it gets me right there. It makes me want to become this amazing story-teller even. Kind of like my roommate Cynthia. She seriously has a gift. I would like that gift too. Well, so much for my introductory blog. Until next time. Cheerio.