a vague supplication

Today was my seventeenth birthday. We have this tradition where one parent signs the birthday card, and then the other signs it, and the first parent doesn't get to look at it ever again until I open it. This time, my mom got to sign first. She wrote, "Only one more year till you're legally an adult! *kisses*" My dad wrote underneath that, "Sorry about her. She's a Muggle." MLIA

Today has been rather uneventful so far. I had a wicked strange dream though. Strange as in odd as in totally wish it would happen but it never will. *sigh* And then I wake up and I go back to this life I lead, which I completely love except for the fact that I am currently emotional. And by emotional I don't technically mean I want to cry about everything. More so I would like to punch people for being stupid or rude or down right mean. That and I get irritated easily. Like now.. I am thinking of this whole huge scenario that has been going on since forever now (really only about a year and half, but still). And this issue has me completely agitated, because I have all these people telling me one thing and then some telling me other things, and then the one person that it is referring to doesn't tell me at all, or skirts around the entire subject. Which okay, I should just have patience. What is the rush right? BUT I JUST WANT TO KNOW!!!!!! you know? And then I am too big of a sissy to ask myself.. noway. And I know that as the reader you're probably staring at the screen thinking, she has completely lost her mind, which I won't deny.. I probably have. And I know I make zero sense at the moment, but I just had to vent because the biggest problem with this whole scenario is that I don't even know how I feel about it. hmph.

Anyway... ha ha. I started writing my story again. It is actually incredibly lame at the moment, because I know what is going to happen, and I want to just hump to the really fun and interesting parts but I can't because I have to lead up to them. But I don't want to lead up to them!!! It's a big argument that goes on inside my head. And that can't be a good sign.. arguing with myself.. I blame it on these Godot rehearsals.

Every night all night.. Don't get me wrong, I love it. I absolutely adore every single person involved in this show. I just don't enjoy the drama. Which is kind of ironic since that is another name for theater.. but seriously.. WHY CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG? Sing Kumbaya or something, because by the end of the night I am surprised that one, if not all of us, are not dead. But then again, I think I live for all of it. Including the daily drama. Weird how my brain works. One big giant circle.

Well I am off to apparel construction, aka sewing class. We learn how to sew in zippers today.. and every single time I turn on that sewing machine I am afraid I am going to suck at it.. the sewing I mean, but somehow it all works out. It's kind of like a metaphor for my life. lol.

Adieu, until next time. :D