I majorly Crave a better book.

(If you’re just joining us- I’m reading the book Crave by Wolff- and am summarizing it for you in the best way possible. We’re about 100 pages in)

So where did we leave off?

The party. 

As I’m sure you could have guessed- it did not go well. 

Her cousin, Macy, dolled her up and brought her along. 

Grace notices the different ‘cliques’ right away (THAT she notices). They’re all huddled in different groups wearing the exact same attire as each other- and they are all glaring at her. The animosity is mucho heavy. 

We meet Macy’s BF who starts macking on her in front of Grace almost immediately.... so she leaves them be and wanders about. 

Most people are rude to her or are creepy AF and THEN the doors slam open and in saunters Jaxon (Obvious vampire and most definite future love interest in case you forgot). Not acknowledging her and making her feel insignificant once more. So she high-tails it outta there and decides to explore the castle yet again. Because it went so well the first time.

Honestly I’m super bored at this point- everyone is being vague and the mystery of who and what these people are still hangs in the air and I’m just overrrrr it. 

So she finds a library discovers a girl doing some chanting in a side room off by herself (again something that provides no red flags AT ALL- she’s more interested in what language the girl was speaking than anything- no joke). 

This girl invites her to her room and they kind of bond- over the girls dead BF. And then Macy shows up and takes her away. Apparently that girl was one of the most popular girls in the whole school! Whoa. Mind blown. 

You can tell how much I care because I’m remembering none of these peoples names. 

So she ends up puking from altitude sickness and takes the next day off from classes for a health and wellness day- oh and this Flint guy shows up and invites her to a snowball fight after classes? I’m still debating on who is what but I think he’s a werewolf. It’s just a guess though.

And then it’s an entire chapter of her walking around the grounds - she discovers this creepy looking tree she gets a weird vibe from... and finds these cottages where classes are held? Finally, she comes across a gazebo with Jaxon and popular girl (Lia is her name) having an intense fight/convo. 

Lia slaps him, yells a bit out of fury and hurt or something - Grace moves to do ... something? But then they both turn to her- eyes BLACK! (So popular girl is a vamp too... GTK) and then she turns and heads back and Jaxon shows up and follows her and Ooooooh! Jaxon just hinted that Flint is a Dragon! Well he said ‘drag...’ but I assume he wasn’t going to finish that up with ‘Queen’. 

Of course, Grace didn’t catch on. I mean- she literally makes all of these current pop culture references and she can’t pick up on ANY HINTS THROWN HER WAY?!? 

Ohhhh boooooi! Breaking news- Lia’s BF that died last year was Jaxon’s brother Hudson! Now we’re at least getting somewhere. There was a bit of a rhetorical jousting match between Jaxon and Grace but nothing beyond that. She feels watched as she heads back to the castle and then- when she’s peeling off her jacket (inside her room) she suddenly realizes that neither Jaxon nor Lia were wearing a jacket! 

Really?! That’s what’s going to tip her off that these people aren’t human?!? Missing JACKETS?!? Smh.

Oh wait- she just thinks they’re aliens. Cool cool cool. No doubt. Makes perfect sense.

And now she’s grilling Macy as they get ready for the snowball fight. She calls out Macy for never finishing her sentences like there is some big secret she’s not in on.... *face palm* 

Macy goes super cray when Grace brings up Jaxon though- he’s apparently apart of some ‘Order’ - Macy’s definition: popular boys at school who just hang out with each other.... and Grace buys it. She BUYS THAT OBVIOUS BULL FACE LIE! what an inept stupid human. Like wtf. Is she completely daft?! 

Ugh, let’s get to the next bit.

Snowball fight happens.

Grace pairs up with Flint (friendly dragon boy) and Macy (super bad at lying cousin)

They end up in big tree (yes- during the snowball fight. This is serious).

Grace falls- but Flint kind of catches her fall as she lands on top of him in the snow.

Jaxon shows up all threateningly and carries Grace back because she hurt her ankle. 

Everyone is shocked. Especially Macy.

And then we get so much boring dialogue that I genuinely skip PAGES at a time. But by the end of everything Jaxon has been texting her (zero ideas as to how he got her #), Macy is useless, Jaxon sends her breakfast, a note, and the TWILIGHT BOOK (while her ankle heals up for 24 hours) He shows up at her door to rub her ankle. And then leaves her again. 

More boring ass dialogue between Macy and Grace. Where Macy warns her that she can’t be friends with Jaxon AND Flint. It just won’t work. Mystery mystery feelings emotions blaaaahhhhhhhh. 

And we’re FINALLY to her first day of going to classes. Where she monologues some more about how she doesn’t know if she should wear a skirt or pants (I kid you not).

Listen- I put it down at this point. I need a break. Like, I’m all for mindless teen romance but this is some next level unimpressive plot writing. Yeah, I know- then why continue? BUT IM INVESTED! And this way - you never ever have to read it. You’re welcome.

PS we’re 1/3 of the way through. Lmao.

 

Wait... I was a blogger? Let’s try this again!

I may or may not have completely forgotten that I actually wrote more than a few times on this Blog- like over 200 something times apparently? 

Yikes a bee.

Anywho let’s dive right into what really matters.

I’ve decided to read a new book- not earth shattering news- but here’s the rub. I just don’t really have the time?

How is that possible since we’ve been shelter-in-place/quarantined for over a month you may ask! Well I (gratefully mind you) still go into work for 40 hours a week, plus do my part time job on the side while packing up a house AND participating in two book clubs- so there you go. No time. 

BUT with the announcement of Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer coming out in August my desire for angsty vampire YA novels suddenly resurfaced. AND this book literally looks like a Twilight knock off... so, glutton for punishment, I dived in. 

Crave by Tracy Wolff.

532 pages- WHY?! 

I’ve almost completed chapter 6. 

Here are my thoughts thus far- 

Main character is Grace. The only real thing about her is her grief- both parents died a month ago and she’s dealing with a ton of emotions- losing them and then flying off to live with her uncle who is a ‘headmaster’ at a school in Alaska. 

Yes, you read correctly- a headmaster. In Alaska.

We meet Jaxon almost immediately- he invades her personal space - makes her feel uncomfortable - is very unwelcoming BUT she sees some haunted sadness inside him that she just KNOWS he doesn’t show anyone and can empathize with his overwhelming grief. I mean this is a literal excerpt, “We stand there frozen. Devastated. Connected in a way I can feel but can’t comprehend by our very separate horrors.” That’s just after she touches the scar on his face. AFTER THEY JUST MET. Who touches someone’s face 5 minutes into meeting them?!? 

Oh, and he’s ultra god-like hot and the most popular dude at this school. Of course. 

So blah blah we meet characters that might matter but obviously aren’t that important. She somehow ‘knows’ not to mention her run in with Jaxon to her HEADMASTER uncle. She then rooms with her cousin and she’s off to sleep.

WHEN SUDDENLY. She wakes up at 3am. And decides to take a walk around the castle (again, yes, that’s not a typo. A castle. In Alaska). Probably to do some other stuff too but I’m majorly skipping paragraphs at this point. She’s down at the entrance when two guys come in from outside. 

It’s 10 below and they’re wearing nothing but ripped jeans (oh yeah- all the males wear ripped jeans at this school, can’t forget to mention that) and a T-shirt. 

They threaten her, tell her she’s not wanted here blah blah, and then grab her to throw her outside to see how she’ll do in the cold. 

So Jaxon shows up (Duh). Saves the day. Talks down to the guys (who blame their hostility on the moon - werewolves much?) and makes them apologize to Grace. 

And now I’m sure we’re in for an epic jousting match of angst and pent up sexual desire between Jaxon and Grace. 

Let’s see what happens!

 (Pause blog to read more chapters)

Her boi has literally- in a blink of an eye- disappeared on her twice now and she’s not even REMOTELY thinking something fantastical is going on? AND he totally wiped blood off of her lip and licked it. Because that’s NORMAL! I’m getting annoyed now. Either he’s a psychopath or a vampire- yet she hasn’t mentioned either possibility. 

Oh good. There’s a party her first evening at the school.... a frickin party.... a ‘welcome to Alaska-school-for-obvious-paranormal-beings-but-not-so-obvious-that-the-new-girl-will-notice’ party! 

IT’S USUALLY A HIGH TEA for school unity?!? I mean- it’s Alaska? Does this author know where Alaska is? 

Okay- that’s enough for my first time back in a hell of a long time. But I’m obviously going to continue to read this not so great book and share ALL my thoughts. Stay tuned! Spoilers are definitely ahead. 

Curvy Options? Puh-lease.

Today I went shopping.  Nothing extraordinary considering it's Christmas in less than a week and it would seem everyone and their mother is shopping.  So why bring it up?
Well, as much as I like to pretend all the shopping I do is for other people I totally shop for myself when I'm out and about.  One item for them - one item for me. It's super rewarding.
This evening was much like any other shopping endeavor.

**But first, I must preface this story with, I haven't really really gone shopping in a very long time.  I buy stuff online and from Barnes & Noble. If I've been into a mall it was to buy LUSH product. I've been buying the majority of my clothes online from LuLaRoe.  I haven't had the need or desire to go into a place like Forever 21 in probably a full year.  Gaining all the weight back that you lost for your wedding can do that to a person.**

After spending well earned money on everyone else, a sign caught my eye.  Charlotte Russe now has a 'curvy' offering in their clothing line.  For anyone over the size of 10... that's kind of a big deal because well, they don't really do large sizes.  Of course I must go in and check it out.  I'm extra curvy again (curvy is the nice way to call someone fat by the way... like skinny people don't have curves. But whatever. My life decisions led me to this and I deal with it).  As I enter I pass this wall of cute adorable sexy sparkly tops.  I go a little farther and pass other cute 'night' tops as they call them.  Finally, I reach the giant sign that essentially says "Curvy area".

I honestly assumed that this larger size offering would mean they make their small cute clothes in a 'plus' size to encompass more women.  What I walked into... was a disco ball mess of options. Out of the handful of dresses, rompers, and pantsuits (barely any separates) - 85% were COVERED in something reflective.  Being large means I'm more round, and from personal experience when you place silver shinny crap on a dress and throw it on a fat woman... she turns into a living breathing disco ball. And that... is not an attractive thing.  And then... if it wasn't sequenced to hell and back... they added a peplum! Which is just more fabric around the hip/waist area... accentuating all those 'curves' we have.  I honestly wish I had tried on a few just to see how embarrassingly bad they all were.

I ran across the same thing at Forever 21.  They've had their 'plus size' options for awhile... but the pieces are still lame.  I'd love to see what an attractive skinny girl would think if she only had plus sized styles to choose from.

I bring all this up, because I think it is simply ridiculous that somehow fat girls can't wear the same clothes as skinny ones. I'm not talking bikini's and hot pants... though... if a girl has the kind of confidence to wear that then good for them!  But seriously... being over weight does not mean we need to wear ugly clothes.  We're already deemed less attractive for not being skinny... so why the heck can't we get cuter clothes?  It's a huge part of the reason I jumped on the LuLaRoe bandwagon.  I find that I can wear every style they offer... and I love their patterns... the fabrics can change the sizing a little bit, but still... I can wear the exact same dress that my cute petite cousin can!

There was that whole issue regarding Leslie Jones and how she had a difficult time getting a popular designer to create a gown for her because of her size and then Tim Gunn's article about the lack attention to plus size fashion- it would seem that being anything bigger than a size 12 makes you inferior.  I used to be a size 12... back then I fit into 'skinny' clothes and I truly didn't think there was a problem... that bigger girls totally have choices... but I was wrong.  I'm 'fat' again... and because of this...fashion isn't something I get to partake in anymore.

This may seem very trivial in the grand scheme of things with what's going on in the world... but if the Kardashians can keep putting out trash books every single bloody year and no one says boo to them... then I can take the time to voice my grievances about plus size fashion.

Thanks for reading. And if you're interested in really cute clothes no matter what your size... feel free to message me... Lularoe will make you smile, I guarantee it.


Oh... and because I'm a HUGE fan of visual aids... here, let me show you some of the lovely options available to us plus size ladies from Charlotte Russe. And remember... the ladies in the pictures are models... and are probably on the lower end of the fat spectrum/photo-shopped.

A Timed Endeavor.

I have 17 minutes to write this before I have to get ready for work... and even that's pushing it.  So let's see what kind of fun nonsense I can get out before then.

I registered to vote.  Because I know my vote matters.  However... voting in this election makes me want to vomit.  A customer and I chatted about how we're told to pick the lesser of too evils.  And I'm like... why do we have to choose between any evils? How did it even come to this?!?! Some might argue it's people like me who weren't registered to vote and didn't do so for the primaries... but I might argue it's the very people that voted in the primaries that got all their priorities in a bunch.  That aside... I tried understanding how some people's votes weigh more than others... that doesn't seem very equal or fair to me... does it to you?  We all need to take another government class.  The last one I took was in my senior year of high school- I forgotten most of it.  Point is... I'm really and completely baffled by all this.

Now I have 9 minutes.

I lost a crap ton of weight for my wedding over a year and almost a half ago.  I have since then gained all of it back and then some.  To say that it's a depressing thing is an understatement.  AND the worst part of it all... is that when I look back at those pictures and I think I look pretty extra amazing... I remember thinking that when I was that size... I simply wasn't skinny enough.  How sad is that?  To remember thinking that at your skinniest you're still not skinny enough... and now I'd kill to be that skinny.  (Well not literally kill... I'd kill a donut or two - obviously)  I think I've finally found motivation again though... so let's see if I can lose all the weight again.  Baha.

5 minutes and counting.

I will attempt to blog more? That's about all I've got at this point.  I feel like I need the last few minutes to think of a clever title.  Or at least a less than dull title.  Who knows what I will pick!  Well, you will because you'll already have read it.  At this point I'm babbling.  Next time I post it's going to be about Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.  I'm going to re-read it and we're going to hash it out.  So be excited about that!

Now it's work time. woot. woot.

Why the Twilight gender swapping book was lame sauce-Shocking, I know.

I finally finished reading Life and Death: a gender-swapping Twilight retelling.  I also acknowledge that where as I can usually finish a book in less than two days (three or four on an off week) this particular one took me almost a full month.  Sure, I can blame some of it on my work. I rarely do much outside the realm of work- and if I do get some down time I am the most non-productive human being on the planet. Ask my friends… they rarely hear from me. It’s sad really. Back to the point: like I said, I can admit when I am partially to blame, but the rest falls to the book itself- more importantly the characters.  

The main character to be precise: Beaufort Swan. Or Beaumont Swan. I don’t care enough to pick up the book and clarify. (All the character name swaps were just as awful, but who's really that surprised. She named Bella's child Renesmee. I mean come on.) He was absolutely and completely boring.  One can argue that Bella was too, but as a 16 year old ten years ago I could empathize with her insignificance.  I will also say that Bella at least had some snark to her. Some kind of sassy something. Beau however was nothing but this dull guy who I could not fathom why anyone let alone a gorgeous, talented-at-everything, almost perfect, girl vampire would even kind-of want. Seriously though, he was boring with a side of snooze-fest.  Meyer did not do him any justices. He used the word beautiful to describe Edythe more times than I care to remember.  Beau couldn’t string together a creative metaphor to save his life. He was contrived and, again, plain ole boring.

I really could go on with the annoyances I had with this book, but the more I realize how annoyed I am I begin to wonder why I wasn’t as annoyed with Twilight.  Bella was probably just as boring and ridiculous, and yet it didn’t bother me all those years ago. I think when it comes down to it, as a girl I was able to want to be Bella- a less than amazing girl who captures the heart of this gorgeously dangerous mythical being.  I’m sure a handful of girls my age desired that kind of connection with someone 'dark and mysterious' and/or ‘out of their league.’ They rooted for Bella.  She deserved some gorgeous guy to worship the ground she walked on darn it! But now that Beau is the lame human and Edythe is the vampire I kept wondering why in the WORLD would she settle for a guy like that.  I couldn’t empathize with Beau.  Because he’s the character I’m supposed to want.  As someone who has had crushes on boys her whole life, Beau was my intended target for the fictional character crush. However that did not happen, obviously.   I’d like to read about a guy that doesn’t remind me of parchment paper.  It comes down to this: if I had been Edythe I totally would have killed Beau in Biology class.  Just saying.

Hope this was incredibly insightful for you all.  I think I’m going to read Harry Potter now.   Have a Happy Halloween!

Musings

I miss writing. I miss it more than I really let myself comprehend. And yet, I'm the only one who has prevented myself from writing. It's similar to my exercise habits. Or lack thereof. I know I should and I need to, and in all honesty I truly like exercising.  The feeling of accomplishment after a good workout is absolutely phenomenal. So then, why don't I do it?
I can probably attribute most of the reason to laziness.  Simply put- the desire to be completely unproductive. I don't like this anymore than I like stubbing my toe- or giving discounts to rude people- or cleaning up after other people's messy children. I have no real reason not to write and not to get up and be active. None. So, maybe this is a very small baby step into getting back out there. I have plenty to write about, that's for sure.  Let's see how this goes.

This will be my Step 1.
My introduction back into the blogging society.
Hello. My name is Charity. And this is a blog about nothing important yet nothing unimportant.
Just my musings.

First big musing: Life can be a tricky little booger.
Humans have such a range of emotions, opinions, beliefs etc. We can be completely compassionate one moment and take out our vengeance the next.  Our ability to hurt others is unimaginable and yet our abilities to help others in need, others we don't even know, is unsurpassable. We feel great loss. We feel great joy. We are unique. And then in the midst of all these very polar opposites we have monotony.  The boring day to day drudge that is life.
Talk about confusing. So what's a girl to do?
Listen to worship music. That is what I have chosen to do. If you're new to this blog, I have been a Christian since I was little. Have I been a good Christian? Not necessarily. Recently one of my coworkers seemed surprised when I told her I was a Christian. She said, "I didn't see you as one." And of course she didn't mean it in a bad way, in fact she made it very clear that most of the Christians she knows try to beat her over the head with the Bible. Obviously... not what Jesus would do and I apologized for them. But it also made me think, I'm not a true representative of Christ if people don't know why I am nice and (on most days) even tempered. I want God's light to shine through me.  I want to love on people just because Jesus loves them- not for personal gain and certainly not to lift me up any.
I've also been trying to pray more, lose my temper less, and in general, not talk crap about people when I'm upset. Now, I still fail a ton of the time. But I'm not going to give up. I'm going to continue trying to be a supportive and loving wife, loyal and honest worker, obedient and respectful daughter, and overall decent human being. If any of this can help circumvent the headaches of trying to understand why humans are the way they are and why life is the way it is, then I will be a better person for that.

Wow, okay... good talk I think! Maybe I'll surprise you with musing number two tomorrow... or maybe just a general thought or two. Who knows. We shall see. dun. dun. dun.

PS Don't judge, but I totally plan on reading the re-imagining of Twilight called Life and Death. I'll let you know how it goes. hehe.

My Grandpa. I will miss you.

To say that my life has changed since my last blog entry would be an understatement. I moved, I got married, and now, today, I lost my grandpa. And I guess 'lost' is a silly way to say it. It's not like he was the car keys that I couldn't find. But saying he passed away is so final... So unbelievably real. Which it is, obviously. But seeing as I've never dealt with this whole death thing... I'm coping the best I can. With support from my family, in-laws and friends I am more than okay. I can't say I'm feeling great... Hah. But I'm reminded how much my grandpa was loved, how much he loved us, and how much I'm loved. The tears and pain come in bursts. I haven't cried this much ever- and I'm an emotionally charged theatre graduate who can't go a day without over analyzing every passing feeling. So it's a tad overwhelming. But at the end of the day I'm sitting here with both sadness and an incredible sense of Joy: that I was able to be the granddaughter of such a loving simple God-fearing man. For whatever reason God decided that today he wanted my Grandpa with him, and although it's hard to accept- deep down I know he's in the best place in existence. Probably watching heaven football or something. I will now and forever miss Ellis Ziebarth. He was the calm in the storm and the dry-humor to my sass. I hope you got to meet him at least once, and if you didn't just know he was absolutely awesome.  I guess that's all I have for now, but maybe you'll be hearing more from me in the near future. Who can resist my iconic commentary on life? Thank you for taking the time to read this though. It means the world.  

Harry Potter

One of my coworkers is planning a Harry Potter party for his girlfriend's birthday. And I'm not talking about a simple 'let's wear a Gryffindor scarf and play a Harry Potter drinking game' kind of party. Not that those parties are necessarily bad... But he is planning a full on HP party.  

They're making chocolate frogs and butterbeer from scratch (thank you Pinterest for your wealth of knowledge on magical food by the way).  They ordered house banners from Amazon (only Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were available. Shocking right?  My coworker [lets call him Ron for the rest of the blog shall we?] Ron was displeased with those choices for banners because he believes them to be the lesser of the houses. Never the less... Those were the banners he got.  Oh the sacrifices we will make for our loved ones... Like compromising on Hogwarts house banners.)

Anywho, that was an extremely long inner monologue on my part. Sorry. Back to the story. So they got banners and Ron scoured the online kingdom for a complete Harry Potter scene it that wasn't going to cost him $90. (They're discontinued so finding them cheap is not simple). He found one! And at this point that is all I know of their Harry Potter festivities but to say I'm jealous would be an understatement. I mean... That is just plain awesome. It does not matter that we are all adults and have full time jobs and have to pay bills and do other boring monotonous things. Harry Potter is for all ages! I told him to take so enough pictures that he could fill three scrapbooks with.

One day I will throw an epic party like this. It could have been my wedding... But alas we went with a different kind of magical theme. I think our choice will go over better with the grandparents. 

That is all for now! Have a magical Thursday! 

Last Man Standing

My dad mentioned this show called Last Man Standing when he visited during my birthday. I had heard of it but never made the time to watch it... I didn't really yearn to sit through yet another show.  I already have so many. But my dad really loves this show. I can always tell by how detailed he will get and how much he's smiling while describing everything. 

It has Tim Allen as the main guy who is the macho sports loving hunting obsessive man's man... Like the guy from the old spice commercial (the real one not the robot). Who just happens to have three daughters.  The oldest one is 20 and has a three year old boy, the middle one is a senior in high school and is the quintessential blonde (even though she's brunette), and the youngest (13 years old) who is a tomboy of sorts and the least girlie of the three.  

Apparently it's hilarious. So last night I watched an episode. And today I watched five.

Some people will not like this show. Mainly because they will take it too seriously. A sitcom, even one about family- any family, is not where I am going to find my philosophies on life or guide my moral compass. 

There are some great lessons and themes. But again, the show isn't for everyone. Particularly left wing feminists. And I don't mean that in a bad way at all... But they probably won't like the show. 

But in my personal opinion... It's a really funny show. And I like it overall. :) 

Anywho. It's late. I'm getting to bed. 

PS mocking jay part 1 came out tonight. Do yourself a favor and don't go see it this weekend. It will be mayhem. 

The DUFF

There are very few books that I read and think, if this becomes a movie I can play the main character.  It just doesn't happen often.  First there is my body shape.  Even at my best weight ever I wasn't skinny (And that's okay).  Then my type of humor.  Of course as an actress the whole point of acting is to be able to become whomever.  But in these brief instances... my acting would be minimal and I'd be able to empathize with the character through my own memories and feelings.
Silly notions of course... these random books would never be made into movies and I'd never be able to audition for them anyway.
Well low and behold I was right about only one of those aspects.  I haven't auditioned for anything since college so no, this isn't a surprise way to tell everyone I'm going to be in a movie.  BUT the book I loved and pictured myself playing in is going to be out in theatres early 2015.
It's called The DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend. The book was so good that I ended up buying the next three books the author, Kody Keplinger, wrote.  Unfortunately I was mildly let down by the lot of them because in the end the only one I really truly enjoyed was the first, The DUFF.
It's a Young Adult Fiction novel (shocking I know).  Nothing magical or mysterious.  Just a run of the mill story about a girl who has a sassy attitude and doesn't let being the DUFF define her.  It's a bit edgy comedy romance but fun overall.
I am indeed excited that I get to see this book on film.  I'm just sad I never got the chance to wow the casting directors with my uber awesome talent.  Lost opportunity for the world I guess.

200th Blog Post!

And what shall my 200th blog post be about?  

How I wish I could write about certain things on here but I can't? 

Not because I'd be vulgar or crass.  Nor because the topic would be frowned upon by the general public.  Mainly I can't write about certain things because people gossip and/or assume I'm writing about them.  Which is probably most likely the case but still.  Using this as a venting post for anything other than generalities would probably cause mayhem and bitterness.  So alas, no venting shall I do. 

Maybe it could be about how I need to lose weight?

Then again, I feel like every other post is about such a topic and honestly we all know I need to get over myself and just do it already.  Point taken.

How about ... OH! I know.  How about the latest two CD's I bought?  

1989 by Taylor Swift VS V by Maroon 5.

I'd love to hear everyone's opinions on these two cd's.  For now here is mine:

1989 was and is mediocre at best.  I was totally super excited for this CD.  I actually bought it in CD form too because I usually love her stuff.  It's catchy, fun and dance worthy.  At least that's what I had been expecting.  What I ended up getting was a 1980's retro version of Hillary Duff's Metamorphosis.  There's a few songs that might get me bobbing my head a little bit... but nothing that makes me want to get up and shake it... except for the aptly named 'Shake it off'.  Overall I was entirely underwhelmed.  And that made me sad because this was the first of her CD's that I actually bought for myself and now I'm kind of regretting wasting the money.

V, however, is the exact opposite.  I've always moderately enjoyed Maroon 5.  They've had catchy songs but nothing good enough to make me buy the whole album.  So I took a chance... primarily due to the Maps song.  I'm quite pleased by my impulse buy.  I continue to love Adam Levine's voice and I am thrilled that once I've finished the CD I find myself wanting to listen to it again.  The only thing I'm semi-sad about is Adam's song from Begin Again isn't on the CD.  It's called Lost Stars and it's phenomenal.  Go look it up.  Oh wait... I can just post it on here. HAH.  Do all the work for you I do.

Alright. Well, you're welcome.  And to end my point. V is better than 1989.  In my personal opinion that is.  Disagree?  I'd love to hear why.

I love accidentally erasing all the content off my phone. #sarcasm #help

So... First and foremost I want to thank every single one of you who wished me a very happy birthday.  It was incredibly sweet of you and I am so very grateful.  I had a wonderful birthday.  I got to go to a wine & cheese tasting in Napa with my family.  That includes the soon to be family and my Mom and Dad!  They both surprised me and just showed up in my room one morning.  I had no idea.  And this is the video they took of me (enjoy.... lol):

Obviously.... I had no idea this was going to happen.  I also had no idea I react so quickly upon someone opening my bedroom door.  I was practically ninja status.

Point is I loved every minute of my birthday week.  I would have LOVED to show you more pictures of the excellent adventure but I deleted all of my pictures off of my phone. AND ALL OF MY CONTACTS.  Again.

So even though this blog is a HUGE thank you to everyone... it is also a plea to text/call me in order to give me your contact info once more.  I cannot believe I deleted everything, but I did. And it sucks.  But hopefully you will all get ahold of me and I can add you to my phone! Yay!

Parades cause traffic. Stupid awful traffic.

I heard somewhere that if you do something for like 20 days straight it turns into a habit.  I don't think it's actually 20 days... probably more like 20 months.  But at least I'm putting this blogging thing into practice more.  So only 19 months and 28 days left to make it a permanent thing! Hah. 

Speaking of habits... I have one.  Well I have many... most of which I hate.  Including the one awesome habit that plans to do certain things... like being productive... and then conveniently not doing any of those things.  I'd guess one might call it laziness.  But it's not just that... Because I always have every intention to do everything I plan on doing.  Yet somehow I don't do any of it.  Well sometimes I do a tiny little bit... I semi-blame the television.  It's like a blackhole for time wasting.  Even when the shows are awesome... it just gets ridiculous.  Netflix is evil.  Which only adds to the other point I'm going to make.

Losing weight is hard.  And when you do accomplish such a feat... keeping it off is just as difficult.  And usually... you don't even realize you're in a downward frappucino/sugarycandy/fried food spiral until it's too late.  And you're back to square one.  I'm not quite at square one, but I'm close enough to want to stab myself in the thigh.  It goes back to the whole making plans ideology.  I totally plan on eating healthy and maybe even exercising a bit.  I plan on NOT eating fast food or the popcorn (which I totally ate today) or cheesecake or whatever else exists to make me fat.  And yet for the last year my lack of commitment to losing weight or staying healthy was astronomical. And I don't know what the key is.... All I do know is I have only five months to lose weight for my wedding. And sure I don't look absolutely awful.... But I want to look a tad better than not looking absolutely awful. Haha. 

And I'm about to say, well I can just start tomorrow. But that brings me back to my whole love of planning... And zero follow through. Full circle! 

Any advice? Particularly to find that motivation? (You'd think the wedding would be motivational enough... And the wedding night but here I am chowing down on Halloween candy so obviously not :/ )... Maybe if I make a game of it? I love games! Or a competition? Ideas people! I need ideas! 

Happy Halloween everyone! I hope you either dressed up in some awesome costumes or saw some cute kiddies in some awesome costumes!!! 

Until next time! ;) 

Another day... Gone awry?

Well, not completely awry. As of right now I'm actually quite content. This morning however was anything but smooth. It's that whole saying about if something can go wrong it will go wrong. That's a saying right? Because it was the epitome if my morning.

I've been subbing at a theatre that is not mine for the last two days... And yesterday went by rather peacefully overall...But today was just not happening. Imagine walking into a test that you have studied for. For example, Spanish. So here you are ready for that Spanish test and then you're given your test. And it's in Portuguese. Which would have been fine if you were studying Portuguese but the last time you checked Spanish isn't Portuguese. And not only that but your usual teacher is replaced by no one. That's right... No one is there handing out tests. They're just on a desk waiting to be filled out in a classroom that is being worked on by at least ten construction workers.   That's about as good of a metaphor as I'm going to be able to give. Point is I aced the Portuguese test, but totally wanted to rip out all my hair and punch my teacher in the face. End of rant... And ridiculous metaphor.

But the work day is over and I am free! Free to sit on my bum and watch tv!!! Lazy days every day! Actually I am going to do some laundry and empty out a box! Yes you read correctly, I still am unpacking from the move I made at the beginning of September. That's how I roll.

And you know what I'm excited for? Halloween and Christmas!!!! Thanksgiving not so much. Want to know why? Because while everyone will be thinking of the 22nd of November as Thanksgiving weekend.... I'll be manning the throngs of people for the Hunger Games opening. I am the opposite of excited because unlike Harry Potter fanatics for Harry Potter premiers they're not Harry Potter fanatics and it's not a Harry Potter movie.  Which makes them much less worth my patience.  Whatever. Yay doom and gloom and an awful ending to a moderately interesting book series. Not that I have any opinions on the matter. ;)

Alrighty. Have the happiest of hump days!!!!  

I'm totes a Disney Princess.

Obviously.  I belong.

This wedding planning has me going a tiny bit bonkers.  There's just so much to do... and so much money that I don't have to spend on things I may or may never use again!  Talk about not overwhelming what so ever.

With that said, it's a baby step kind of process.  Michael has been a ton of help and support.  Which is great since I feel like I work almost all the time.  But trying to plan a future with someone else is also a new kind of challenge.  An exciting one at least.  And to think people ask about when kid's are going to start happening.  Hah!  No.  Let's simmer down and actually have a wedding first.  Crazy sauce.

I wish I could tell you a story about my work, but I'm pretty sure that posting anything about my job on social media is frowned upon immensely.  Alas, as entertaining as this story would be I must refrain.  The point of the story though (I can share that much) is: people can be ridiculously lazy and it's just so depressingly sad.  That is all.

Oh, and who is excited for all this Marvel talk?  Age of Ultron, Captain America: Civil War, Benedict Cumberbatch as Dr. Strange?!?!  Not going to lie... that last one is the best news ever!  However, waiting two or three or seventy years for all of these things to occur is unfortunate.  Patience is a virtue?
Alrighty, well Halloween is coming up.  Hope everyone has a blast.  AND makes good choices ;)

Yay.

Still alive!

It was brought to my attention that I haven't updated this in almost three months.... My bad... This is kind of how my diary days were. I'd swear I'd write every day... Then I would forget to write... And when I started up again I would spend half the time apologizing to myself for not updating and then the other half getting my diary updated.  By the end I wouldn't even want to talk about why I picked up the diary and started writing in the first place.  It was a vicious cycle I tell you. And it doesnt look like I've changed much.  Except now I blog.  So I am very sorry for neglecting to update everyone about my oh-so-interesting life. That was the apology, in a way, and here comes a very brief catch up with my life:

Michael graduated PLNU! Yay!!!!

Went to Cancun!!!! Yay!

Brother turned 21!! Yay!!!!

Moved into a new place!!! Yay!!

Still work at Bookstar! Yay? 

I've been trying to lose weight... And I wish I could update you with some dramatic decrease but unfortunately that won't be happening. It's a super slow process and I'm kind of annoyed with my body at this point... But Michael has been working out with me and he's doing great!!! So yay for the awesome boyfriend! That's not sarcasm. I'm super proud!

I'm mildly working on writing. Mildly. I wish I would write more. Like story wise I mean.  I've been awful in that aspect of writing too. I don't know what's wrong with me!!! Wahhhhh!!!! Okay... Dialing back the dramatics.

There's not much more to update you on... Besides that the movie Epic was anything but, and you should go see Monsters University. You're welcome in advance. ;)

Okay guys... Peace out.

Maybe I'll write more. 

Probably not.

But maybe!!!!! Yay!

Summer Movies. Part 1. Dun dun dun.

I don't know if you know... but... I love movies.  And a huge chunk of my budget this summer is for a whole lot of movies (and Michael's budget... seeing as how he pays mostly).  We haven't had this big of a movie summer since my sophomore year in High school!  Point is, there are a ton of movies out there and I want to see the majority of them!

And because I am also quite considerate of my fellow man, and woman, I am going to share with you some brief thoughts on the few I have seen thus far.  I'll make it short and simple.  Or try to at least... because lesbi-honest... (this is a movie reference... if you don't get it please don't get offended. simply watch Pitch Perfect) I have a difficult time doing such things.  Alright. let us begin.

Iron Man- Pretty good.  Better than the second one that's for sure.  Made me want to watch Avengers again... which I don't think was really the point... but that's okay. "Puny God"

Go see it if you're bored. Or if you love Tony Stark aka Robert Downing Jr. 

Star Trek- Beyond fantastic. BEYOND!!!!! Want to see it again. Sherlock plays one Epic bad guy. (Notice how I use the word 'Epic' properly in the previous sentence... Notice how the the following movie did not)

Go see it this instant...

Why are you still reading this? 

Go now. 

Epic- Epic Fail. Epically terrible. Epic-less. The Opposite of Epic. --- those were just a few options for what this movie should have been titled. (I recently discovered that Dreamworks was NOT the company that produced this film... Which brightened my mood considerably because I was very disappointed that the same company that put out 'epic' movies like Shrek, Dispicable Me, and Ice Age would create such a craptastic pile of crap and title it Epic. So yay on that front, boo to everything else about this movie) 

Just don't.

Now You See Me- Went in not expecting much.  Got a few good laughs and some pretty awesome magic tricks.  Pretty enjoyable.

If you're bored, go ahead. Or if you just want to get out of the house. Still, go ahead. 

Man of Steel- In spite of what the critics are saying I quite liked this movie.  And I love Superman.  Why do people have to hate on him so much? Rude.  I hope they make more.

Take the time to go see this one... particularly because I want to hear other peoples thoughts....

Movies that are in theatres or will be coming out shortly that I really want to see:

The Internship

This Is The End

Monsters University

The Heat

And just think... Those are just the movies that are coming out in June.  Don't even get me started about July and August.

YAYYYYY!!!!!

Feel free to argue with me or agree with me on any of my brief comments. ;)

a, b, c... placeholder

a) I had an absolutely awesome one-year anniversary with Michael yesterday.  There are not enough adverbs and adjectives to effectively describe my time spent with him.  

b) He's my favorite.  I adore his personality.  His quirks.  His creativity.  His uniqueness.  His kisses.  His love for helping others.  His addiction to chocolate and coffee.  His family.  His desire to improve things.  His ability to see potential.  His thoughts.  His venting sessions.  His hugs.  His sarcasm.  His voice.  To put it simply... I just adore all of him.  

c) I really need to work on using my words... I'm a college graduate with a decent vocabulary.  I need to be able to say what I'm thinking without second guessing/over analyzing/fearing/or just anything-ing. I can write just fine.  But I need to say what I'm thinking and feeling.  I'm only making it harder on myself by not doing so.  

d) This is incredibly random but the UT (Union Tribune) has a horoscope section.  And I used to read it just for fun because randomly they'd say things that would just make me smile or laugh.  It was like reading random inspirational quotes.  But about three months or so ago they changed horoscope writers.  And I am not a fan of this new person.  Not. A. Fan. In. The. Slightest.  I kept reading them in hopes they'd get better... but they're just awful.  Maybe it's how horoscopes are supposed to be which may be why I don't like them.  I mean... this person 'stars' my day.  Like if it's going to be a three star day, or five star day.  I mean excuse you.  I can have a five star day every day thank you very much.  So yeah.  It bums me out that they're boring and awful now.

e) This blog isn't really the blog I was going to write... hence why it's titled 'placeholder'  In fact I already started another one... it's about how I told Michael I liked him.  I'm writing a small story and everything.  But it's taking longer than I planned and I needed to say before I went to bed that I am beyond blessed to have Michael as both my Best Friend and my Boyfriend.  I thank God for him on a daily basis.  That's for sure.

f) I'll try and get that next blog out soon.  Just for fun at the very least.  Maybe.  It would fall under the 'creative non-fiction' category.  I took a class on it at PLNU even.  So you know it'll be great.  (haha. you don't know that at all.  But I hope it'll be enjoyable)  

g) Have a great day! :D Lots of love. 

h) and here are two pictures for you to enjoy.  The first is during our first semester at PLNU in the fall of 2007-we met in Chorale!  and the second is our most recent picture together back in March 2013, when we were celebrating Michael's birthday.  Just thought you'd get a kick out them.  I love them both.  With all my heart.

Pointlessly Obsessed.

Yesterday, April 11, 2013, was the 10th anniversary 3D extravaganza bombdiggity aca-rrific Pointless concert.  That wasn't the official title... but it obviously should have been.  And if you missed it... shame on you, because it was phenomenal.  I am so proud of every single one of those guys it's slightly ridiculous.  But only slightly.  They seriously deserved much more than the 'congrats' hug with an added, 'good job' back pat that they received from me.  I, of course, took pictures and video... because that's who I am.  Like this one for instance:



Artsy right?  It was during Rolling in the Deep.  Who doesn't like a good silhouette shot?  Because I know I do.  You can kind of tell who is who too.  Or maybe that's just me.... I'd say it's awkward... but nah.  I passed awkward a looooong time ago.  Like when I purchased a Pointless necklace, tie, button, and magnets (you may purchase one yourself by clicking on this link -> Awesome Pointless Goodies for the Adoring Fan).  And you thought I was joking about being obsessed.  You fool you.

I shall give you two videos, because a) I'm incredibly nice and b) they deserve as much publicity as possible.  So first, here is Beautiful Things.  It's a worship song... so it's both hauntingly beautiful as well as spiritually uplifting.  Soloist: Michael Hartshorn, my Michael.  The one I yammer on about on here from time to time.  The awesome one?  Still don't remember??? .... kidding.  I know you do.  And as always I am so super duper proud of him, not to mention his voice is just... Wow.  He knows this already though... so it's less to boost his ego and more to boost mine.  Cause he's my boyfriend.  I win.

(and just in case the video doesn't work... click here -> Because I'm about to Punch Blogger in the face)

And  the second video is the timeless Footloose.  Soloist: Grant Kay.  But this one is even more special due to the fact it includes a whole hell of a lot of Pointless alumni.  So where there are usually only 13 guys on stage we have over 20.  And I just think it is an incredibly fun song that I always love.  I mean the guys dance wildly, throw their shoes at the audience... and each other, shake their hips... some really really well mind you... rawr, AND sound great doing it.  So yeah, you're welcome for this:



(Same deal... if video doesn't work... click here -> Because seriously... it's 4am and I don't have time for this anymore)
There you have it.  I have numerous other videos that I took with a camera that I haven't downloaded yet, but if you want those just email me.  Or I could put them on YouTube I guess.  I have never uploaded a video to YouTube in my life... oh wait... I just did because Blogger refused to cooperate with my video uploading needs.  So what a fun first for me that was.  The photos aren't the greatest but I might upload those later too.  Seeing as it's past 4am and I have work in a few hours I won't be attempting such a thing tonight.
The one sad thing about tonight is that I got absolutely zero pictures with any of the Pointless guys.  ANY of them.  I looked rather nice too.  It's a bummer to be sure... and I'm just going to stop thinking about it.  At least I got great videos!
So again, Congratulations to Pointless on their epic concert!!!!  Loved every minute of it.
Even though I didn't win the raffle.
It's okay.
I own enough Pointless things.
I guess.

PS Uploading videos to this blog was a pain in my *insert random body part here* ...no joke, it took me over an hour to get it to work and even then I know they aren't the best quality... and are quite fuzzy... but something is better than nothing.  ^_^

6 lbs... Rude.

I made it down the mountain!
And you should be impressed by this because.... this is what it looked like the whole way down:

That is fog ladies and gentleman, at 10 am.  Told you that you should be impressed.  I didn't die.  Nor did I kill anyone.  Mission accomplished! Insert Mission Impossible theme music here.  You'll have to imagine it because I don't know how to include sound in my blogs just yet.
So anyway, I made it back to SD.  And with a speeding ticket to show for it!  Yep, you read correctly.  I got a speeding ticket!  And you want to know the very best part??  I wasn't speeding!!!!  At least not at the speed he accused me of.  He made this big deal that I had 'Nevada' license plates and I overheard him teaching his fellow cop guy (they had been on motorcycles) what to look for and blah blah blah.  So ultimately I was a training session.  He was a douche nugget.  And I am totally contesting it.  The end.  This is how I feel when I think about it:

Change of subject.  I've gained roughly 6 lbs since the last time I weighed myself... which was like four months ago... so a pound and a quarter per month isn't oh.em.gee awful.  But It's still pretty awful. And it's supremely difficult when no matter what or how I feel I want to eat.  For instance:
I am happy, I want some chocolate to celebrate my happiness.
I am sad, I want some chocolate because chocolate will make everything better.
I am angry, I want to punch someone in the face and then eat chocolate.
You can replace chocolate with other food too.  I eat it all pretty much.  This is me:

and this:

Maybe not as messy.  But you get the point.  I love to eat.  So now I'm making the very difficult decision to start eating better and exercising (again).  I say 'difficult' not because it isn't the right thing to do.  I know being healthy is definitely the correct choice.  It's difficult because as I said above... I eat my feelings.  And I'm a very 'feeling' kind of person.  So instead of eating when I feel happy, sad, angry, etc. I have to find something new to set my mind on.  Going to the gym will help, reading/writing might help.  I know of one particular thing that would help keep my mind off of food... and satisfy those pesky feelings at the same time!  Two birds with one stone kind of thing.  BUT that wont start happening so I'll focus on working out.  ;)  I'm rarely vague nowadays... sooooo... you'll live.  Besides I gave you epic .gifs today.  You should be thrilled.  Okay... maybe not thrilled... you are reading my blog after all.  But mildly entertained at least?
Alrighty, whelp, I shall head to bed now.  I guess.  Thanks for reading and have an awesome Humpday.  That stands for Wednesday everyone.  Just in case your head is in the gutter and you begin to think you should go around humping people.  Don't.  It's just the middle of the week.