F this.

Honestly, 

I am just so sick and tired of trying and failing.  

I don't know why the hell I didn't stick with something practical like Math.  

I didn't get into Godot

nor did I get into I love you, you're perfect, now change.

And to top it all off my whole semester in London that I was rambling on about all excitedly in my last blog might not even happen because one of my professors probably thinks I am nothing and that I will barely graduate on time as it is let alone if i spend a semester abroad..

And you want the God honest truth?

I hate Point Loma.

I hate it.  

I keep thinking "it'll get better. you'll fit in more. you're getting the hang of things. people will give you a chance." blah blah blah.

I spend 35 grand a year to feel like crap.  All the time.. one big crap fest.  

I am angry, hurt, and depressed.

Angry more then anything else.  Just angry.

I was so excited to start this semester.  So so excited.

And it took exactly one week to make me wish I had never came back.

I can write all the positive uplifting blogs that I want, pretending I am hunky-dory.  But what's the point anymore?  I am done pretending.  I am just done.